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| Random quote: Did you ever feel your parents loved you more as a child? Do you know why? You weighed less. But you can find that love again at the same weight.... |
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Interview with a anorexic male. Umbrolly 2-21-09
Nice Gloves
Thank you.
So what stores do you shop at?
Um… well back home, uh there’s this place called Plato’s closet and, Good Will, basically used clothes.
Why do you shop there?
Basically because its cheaper and I hate going into malls. Plus I like the feel of used clothes. There’s also this place called Jonk which is where I got these jeans and it’s more like vintage clothing, it’s cool.
So what influences you to buy clothes? Does size matter?
Yes, because uh, sometimes I have to go into the kids section of …of the stores, like I have to go like…if I need a pair of dress pants, I go into the boys section to buy stuff that will fit me hopefully if its not too short. Um, so size does influence me in that way, and, it makes shopping a little harder, cuz a lot of stores, especially men’s sections are geared towards like tall, big, men. And I don’t mean big in a fat way. So it’s hard to find stuff that fits my waist… so ya.
So what do you think is the ideal body?
Well… one that works, (ha-ha) one that’s healthy. For a male or a female or overall? Well um… I guess it’s one that’s fit, one that is healthy, that functions.
What do you think an ideal girl would look like?
Well what’s the ideal body for a girl?...Um…definitely skinny, uh, (pause) but still shapely I suppose? Skinny but shapely? Ya, but I mean that changes over time, like that wasn’t the standard of beauty a hundred years ago, it was curves you should see it. It’s just, that’s what it is now I guess. Tan! There’s another thing, tan. That’s something that’s changed. Ok tan, skinny, shapely.
So how typical is the ideal body type?
Not at all typical, but it’s everywhere, like its all over, advertising, it’s all over movies, actresses and actors on TV and the actors and actresses they’re like the, the ideal body um, but it’s not that common. It’s definitely not that common, it’s just plastered everywhere.
Do you agree with clothing companies making huge sizes?
Well what else are those people gonna wear? If someone’s gonna be that big, well that’s just their problem that they’re severely obese and that they’re probably going to die of heart failure, but it’s not up to other people to say whether or not they should make clothes that you know condone it. That’s all I have to say about that.
Anything you want to say?
Hm, well ok. Um. The whole thing frustrates me I think. There’s a standard of perfection that’s held too high and too valued in our society. I think its something that’s too fleeting to really focus on like as much as I do. Like beauty and the ideal body is something that’s gonna fade away eventually. It changes over time, it changes for the individual and for society so its like there shouldn’t be this intense focus on it, but there is. Like with all the plastic surgery and it just adds so many agitations: anorexia and just basic insecurity.
Why’s there such a big fixation on weight?
Um..well, I’m so beautiful… I couldn’t say (haha) Just kidding. But I mean beauty has always been upheld and valued. Like I don’t know why, but everyone thinks if you’ve got a nice body that you’re also smart and funny and talented.
Where do you think that our concept of beauty comes from?
I think it is, um, programmed into us by like I said earlier, by the media, but not only that, I think this concept of beauty is given to us by our parents definitely. Like when you’re a kid and you know when they approve of a person’s appearance and when they don’t and so you kind of get this value system ingrained in you about how you’re supposed to look based on what your parent’s reactions are to certain people. Other people too, like I guess your teachers reactions to the other kids and stuff but mainly it’s the media and family.
Do you think people get treated differently because of how they look?
Absolutely, absolutely and I think people lie when they say looks don’t matter, that’s bull sh*t because looks strongly influence how you treat someone I think. I’m sure there are studies or records, I don’t know but people are more likely to approach someone if they are more attractive, like thin and toned, then if they’re neither. And then we are presented with so much information, so many people every day that our brains have to quickly categorize people like just like (snap) that, that’s all you get. But that’s the reason why we stereotype people. And it just, it makes life manageable. You kind of notice the people that are attractive to you more so than the plain people. It’s just automatic. And so you end up treating people differently based on nothing but their appearance…there’s other things too like your personality, but I mean someone’s gottta break through the first layer first and I think its sad but that’s just how it is.
Do you think there are pressures placed on males?
Yes, I think there are. I think the pressure, there’s more of it on women as far as looking attractive, but for males there are just a different set of expectations like business success and like being really physically fit like an athlete or getting girls. Those are expectations for both males and females I guess but their expectations are more focused on the physical often times. But I do think there are expectations for men to look good, to be muscular and handsome and well put together. Lean.
What happens when someone doesn’t fit into the stereotypical category?
I think there are social consequences. Not being accepted or not being completely accepted into certain groups, not having all the advantages of someone who’s more attractive, confidence suffers. But at the same time it’s very shallow to be basing your confidence on your appearance. I think a lot of people do, I mean I do, but it’s not a strong thing to base it on. Its like those girls. Well there’s say girls who develop early, like who develop sexually early, and they’re more socially awkward, and the guys that develop early are more confident in high school years and like middle school years but guys that develop late are socially awkward in those years but then thrive later because they’ve had that time to base their confidence on other things other than their appearance. That’s just what I think though.
So do you think appearance influences self-confidence?
I can only speak from experience, but I think in adolescent years yeah. I think it does a lot and it must carry over because there’s so many changes going on. I mean, its nice to have something then. It’s nice to have like well at least I look good, you know even if I don’t know what’s going on, at least I’m not letting myself go, at least I look good and maybe, later in life people won’t care as much I…I feel so shallow like talking about appearances when there’s definitely more important issues to talk about. And then talking about beauty or bodies it just makes me feel totally shallow.
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