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Random quote: I wanna love me but the mirror wont let me
- (Added by: mizzi) |
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Gold Member
Posts: 415
Location: USA | I used to weigh 135 (BMI 19.9) and I literally could eat 3000 calories a day and not gain weight.
Where am I now? At 110 pounds (BMI 16.2). I've thrown up so much that my gag reflex is GONE and if I want to throw up it takes me literally an hour (formerly 2-5 minutes) and I won't get everything up so I can no longer maintain my weight being bulimic. If I don't throw up, and I eat literally only 300 calories, I'll MAINTAIN my weight. I am not exaggerating either numbers, I can literally eat 1/10th the food I used to. The only way for me to lose weight these days is to fast. And I'm still not thin enough. I remember the days when I thought life would be PERFECT when I reached 125 pounds, or 120, or 115, and then I spent a couple months there simply DREAMING about weighing 110 pounds. Here I am now, and I'm angry and upset because I just feel so darn fat. (And I'm above my low weight - thanks a lot gag reflex.)
So for those of you who are sad with how much you eat, and want to eat less while MAINTAINING your weight, I have a great plan: Start starving yourself now, but don't go extreme. Eat like 1000-1200 calories a day. In 5 months, start vomiting occasionally. In 7 months, make sure you're eating massive binges and puking at least 3 times a day, if not 6. NEVER ever keep anything down, not even an apple, and if your dad tries to make you eat something when you know you won't be able to purge, make sure to throw a dramatic fit. Run a marathon, but don't take a day off purging. Your dad will start seeing visible damage to your teeth. Feel depressed about it and go purge some more. Oh, and make sure you get caught stealing, that's great fun. Skip class to go on a doughnut run and let your grades drop, that's awesome too. After over 13 months of "dieting", over 8 months of being bulimic, and over 6 months of NONSTOP B/Ping, you can be in the position I'm in.
A dead gag reflex.
A dead metabolism.
Grades you're disappointed in.
Time with the juvenile police department for stealing.
Horrible teeth.
Parents that don't trust you.
The biggest chipmunk cheeks you have ever seen, so it hurts to smile.
So many aches and pains that they just seem normal.
And you know what? I wish someone had shown me this 13 months ago. Maybe I would have thought twice about going on a small diet, about just losing 10 pounds before school started, so I could be beautiful and perfect at 125. It's never enough. | |
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DIAMOND
Posts: 5143
 
| If someone would have warned you, I still don't think you would have stopped at 125; however, I do see that you're experiencing a lot of pain and I'm so sorry that you are. I wish things were easier. 
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EMERALD
Posts: 1230
Location: Iowa, U.S. | People did warn me. Scare tactics don't work. | |
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Location: Italy | I am still stupidly struggling to get there. It does scare me, but if I put on the other side the idea of being almost weightless... that wins. So sorry, that wins. | |
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Want a metabolism that sucks? Throw up and starve yourself.
